Ninety-nine things on but nothing to watch

A few nights ago, I was in charge of the remote for a while and decided to see if there was anything on television that I wanted to watch. I proceeded to the lowest channel and went up from there on a mission of discovery. Oh, yeah, don’t they have a channel by that name? Yes, they do, but back to the story: After about ten minutes I reached the limit of my available channels without finding one thing on that I wanted to watch. Why, you ask?

That question occurred to me as well, so I decided to go on a mission of discovery. Whoops, that channel again! Anyway, I proceeded to make a list of every program that was on, and I assigned each program to a specific category or genre. For example, I began with

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